I just realised what a lucky escape I have had in leaving just hours before the Indian zoolanded up on my island. Sweeping away the crushes and heart throbbing of teen kids (who, btw, has used up all the synonyms of “awesome” to describe some of the items of the menagerie that gathered on the island, so haul yourself up there if you are trying to write a “thank you” note to ur boss), I feel even more thankful after watching the collection on the ever faithful Far Vision (which is, for all you Hindi nincompoops, is “Doordarshan“‘s literal translation).

My listlessness and boredom forced my fingers to switched the damned T.V. on. And walao! I was beholding the spectacle of “Indian Oscars” on my island. The animals trooped in, with the eager “desi” crowd (who btw think every “Indian” do is a fancy dress competition they ought to win..serious!.. i even saw an aunty (un)dressed like the female protagonist in the notorious black and white mallu movies.. ask Swami for verification) cheering them and trying to reach out for God-knows-What. If only Chitra had told me she was also one of those, it would have been a pleasanter experience playing “where-is-chitra?”.

So, anyways, what I would really like to rant about is the Big Deal that all news channels made over it. And not just the news channels but also a “respectable” magazine like Outlook (which nowadays seem to resemble a fusion of Stardust and Femina). To hear soundbites from actors who anybody would have forgotten but the news channels and to be forced to bear the torture of hearing “what Kareena/Shilpa/nobody will be wearing for the main event?” is something that can rival the torture chambers of U.S. prisons( did u hear about one in seventy five Americans living in prison?). Now that the awful event is over, I can relax and rant about it,just like the Senior Citizen who engages in an enthralling discussion of the Triple Valve Surgery.